“Mexican Dining on the South Side”

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably know I’m a Southsider.  I live in the AUTHENTIC SAN ANTONIO.  If you are visiting here, be sure you come to the southside (that includes the area from downtown all the way to the southernmost mission, Espada.  (See map.  http://www.classbrain.com/artmonument/publish/san_antonio_missions_nhp_park_map.shtml)

And, if you want to eat REAL San Antonio Mexican Food, be sure to eat it on the Southside.  Here are two of my favorites.  Neither is a tourist trap.  Both have great food and service and you will not even come close to spending a fortune.

If you show up on a Saturday night, and sit on the patio, you will probably see Uncle Ernie and I at El Mirador.

http://elmiradorsatx.com/ Chris always waits on us.  But, no matter who waits on you, the service is excellent.  We have never had a bad meal or bad service or even mediocre food or service.  Last week, my good friends, Kurt and Marlina, were visiting from Santa Rosa, CA.  It was Kurt’s birthday.  He told, Lisa, the manager, that the Fish Tacos were the best he’d ever had.  This place feels like family.  If you become a regular, like we are, they visit with you.  IF the weather is bearable, be sure to sit on the veranda.  It’s magical.

My choices from the menu:  Steak ala Diana, Numero Dos, or my absolute favorite, The Empanada.  If they are making them that night, ask for Spinach Enchiladas.  They are not listed on the menu, but they are fabulous.  Tell them I sent you!

PS– Stay tuned for our newest find.

“Exercise #1 for Getting in the Flow of Life”

If you haven’t read the article about Flow that I wrote a couple of weeks ago, go back and read it first.  If you have, let’s get started.

Remember, FLOW is about being present in the Moment.  The concept of being here now is deceptively complex and amazingly simple all at the same time.  But, then again, so is anything when you’re an expert at it, or when you’re watching an expert do it.

Always, the secret is FOCUS.  It’s the biggest quality that’s missing in modern society, in my opinion.  People who spend all their time texting, I believe, do so as an attempt to focus.  Otherwise, they can’t seem to stay focused on anything.  Their lives are a mad whirl of TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

Being in flow requires that you put mental blinders on.  But, generally speaking, people get into flow doing things that they are so passionate about that they don’t HAVE to try to focus on them.

However, I’ve made a remarkable discovery over the past 30 years of practicing being in the flow:  The more you flow with things that you LOVE doing, the more you learn how to flow doing anything in life.  Case in point:  I DO NOT LOVE balancing my check book.  I used to be really good at it years ago.  And, I know exactly when things went sour.  I had recently moved for my job to another state.  I was in-between banks…going back and forth between the two.  Things got screwed up.  It was a hassle to straighten them out.  Ever since then, balancing my check book has been a hassle.  I lost confidence in my ability to do it well.

I LOVE, on the other hand, writing.  I could write for days or months without stopping.  I am totally unaware of time when I write.  I am in the flow.

When I have to balance my checkbook, I simply focus on putting myself in that state of mind that I’m in when I write.  Once I know I’m there.  I balance my checkbook.  And, I do not allow any outside distractions while I’m doing it.  I have no clue how people watch TV, talk on the phone and listen to the radio while they are playing a computer game or doing homework or balancing their checkbook.

So here is my challenge to you.  What is it that you truly love to do?  Only pick one thing.  Close your eyes and think about the last time you did whatever it was.  What are you aware of as you are doing it?  What do you smell?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  What do you feel?  What thoughts are going through your mind?  Are you aware of having any thoughts while you do that thing?  Is it automatic?  Do you have to think about doing it?

Now think of a color to go with how you feel when you are doing that loved thing.  Now think of a word to describe how doing that thing makes you feel.

Give yourself your color and word signals (knows as anchors) before trying to do something that doesn’t flow as well for you, maybe cleaning your room, or raking leaves.

I promise, the more you learn to be in flow, the easier it is to do, no matter what you are doing.

“Jury Duty in Bexar County: Reasons to be Grateful for the Experience”

Finally, the night before jury duty, I decided to let  go of whining and complaining about the impending experience and just be my normal “go with the flow”  self.  Shocking as this confession may sound to some of you: After moving back to Texas in 1998, I had avoided jury duty for 11 years by simply NOT registering to vote.  There wasn’t anyone I cared about seeing get elected, and being an entrepreneur, I definitely could NOT afford the time away from the office.

Once Obama got elected, I was so thrilled to have someone I felt I could believe in, that I decided I’d better “bite the bullet” and register to vote for 2012 (just in case the world DIDN’T come to an end) and I needed to help re-elect Obama.

Anyway… back to my story…

The Monday night before my new adventure into Bexar County jurisprudence, I was sitting at the front yard patio table enjoying the last rays of sunshine with Uncle Ernie.  My octogenarian next-door-neighbor and playmate turned to me and said, “So have you got your face fixed for jury duty yet?” (Translation:  Had I adjusted my attitude sufficiently?)

“Yes,” I replied determinedly.  ”I decided to just make the most of it.”

“Goooooooooood,” he drawled and gave me one of his infamous Evil Chesire cat grins.

The next morning, I awoke early, thanks to the demise of Daylight Savings time.  I got ready quickly and made it to the bus stop early.

One of the newest features of the revised Bexar County Jury Duty  process is:  Your jury summons comes with a free round-trip bus ticket.  Since I live right on the 34/42 bus routes, I have a quick twelve-minute trip to La Villita, the main downtown transfer point.

The third “happy occurrence” was the early morning walk along the San Antonio River, between Villita and Dolorosa.  Those of you who read my blog regularly know I walk along the River all the time with Uncle Ernie, just not this part, the “touristy” part, as we locals refer to it.

We walk the uninhabited paths south of downtown, by Blue Star Art Complex and the HEB headquarters at the Arsenal.  We’re used to quiet walks, beautiful aquatic scenery and an abundance of water fowl.

Lo and behold!  This downtown walk was tranquility to the nth degree.  The only affront to my serene sensibilities was one poor fool on a cell phone, too wrapped up in “business” to live.

The walkway was spotless, unlike the southern stretches of the River.  The colors of the flowers outside the hotels were breath-taking.  A lone grebe gazed forlornly from a cypress tree, not four feet away from me, as if to say, “What are you doing up so early?”

What a contrast this scenario was from the time back in 1998 when I brought my friend, Marilyn, to see the River for the first time.  It was a sweltering August day, wall-to-wall people swarmed the sidewalks, bumping into each other, shoving, sweating.  It was total pandemonium.

Marilyn swore she’d never come back to this, the second most popular tourist attraction IN THE WORLD.  Couldn’t say I blamed her.

Anyway… back to my jury duty story…

I arrived at the Justice Center and was directed to the basement by one of San Antonio’s finest.  She could tell I was confused.  The last time I served on a jury had to be in the 1980’s, and that was in North or South Carolina.  Can’t remember which.

Right away I was impressed with how smoothly everything ran… definitely a first for me in dealing with the City.   Even though the lines were long, they moved rapidly.  A personable, yet confident woman named Melly introduced our judge, the Honorable Soloman Casseb, III.  He quickly corrected her.

“Call me Sol.  The only Judge Solomon Casseb was my father, who passed away two weeks ago at the age of 94.”

He proceeded to enthrall us with tales from his father’s illustrious career and that of other notable justices from Texas history, like Judge Reeves, who served his entire career from a wheelchair.  His 10-minute tribute to his dad was met with a round of applause.

Wow!  This going-with-the-flow stuff really works!”  I smiled inwardly.  Who would’ve expected a free motivational talk as an intro to jury duty?

Judge Casseb proceeded to explain the finer points of jury duty: what an honor it is, how important a service we are performing, how much he appreciated us.  ( I was feeling more and more grateful by the minute.)

Finally he explained who was NOT allowed to serve and who had the right to an exemption.  After that rousing welcome and pep talk, I was shocked when anyone got in line to be excused.

So now I’m waiting in this comfortable chair… at this cozy table, having not been selected for either of the first two jury panels.

But the cappuchino from the cafeteria across the hall was good.  And, I did see fresh fruit over there, too, so I know it’s not all snack food.

Who knows what the rest of the day will bring? I’m just going with the flow.

The Science of Happiness: Getting in the Flow of Your Life

Almost 20 years ago, a Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, published his ground-breaking work, ‘Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.’  I’ve been a fan of Csikszentmihalyi, (“chick-send-me-high-ee”) ever since that time.

According to “flow” theory:   people are most happy when they are in a state of flow— a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation. The idea of flow is identical to the feeling of being in the zone or in the groove. The flow state is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. This is a feeling about 85% of the population reports having had at times, characterized by a feeling of great absorption, engagement, fulfillment, and skill—and during which concerns, like time, food, and ego-self, are typically ignored.

Other characteristics of the flow experience are:

1.   Complete involvement, concentration in whatever one is involved in.

2.   A sense of ectasy- that idea of detachment, being outside everyday reality

3.  Great inner clarity- a clear sense of what needs to be done and how things are progressing.

4.  A certainty/ inner knowing that the activity can be accomplished, neither bored nor anxious

5.  A sense of serenity- no self consciousness, a feeling of oneness with life

6.  Timelessness—focus on the now, time distortion, no awareness of the passage of time

7.  Intrinsic motivation—whatever produces “flow” becomes its own reward.

The idea is important to me for two primary reasons:  (1) I recognized immediately, upon reading the book, that  ”flow”  was the reason  I was basically a happy person, when so many people around me, especially those with more money, a more exciting career, a better love life, or whatever, were not.  (2) Once I became a professional hypnotist, with a specialty in anxiety, I focused on the theory as a means to help anxious clients.  I decided, since I already knew what flow was supposed to look like, having experienced it myself for years, I could teach others how to do it.

Referring to the list of points above, I can say, with absolute authority, that every single point listed can be accomplished using hypnosis.  Whether a client comes to reduce anxiety, stop smoking, lose weight, improve a skill, what makes hypnosis work, in my opinion, is that, in the trance state, the critical faculty is by-passed.  The focus shifts away from self-consciousness and towards a type of  “extra-consciousness”  in which anything that is suggested becomes not only possible, but highly likely.

When a skilled hypnotist uses an ego-strengthener, the client is told:  “Everything that I tell you, every suggestion I give you, is becoming deeply implanted in your subconscious mind and beginning to work for you perfectly.”  Any suggestions that follow the ego-strengthener will IN FACT become deeply implanted.

In the next segment on this series about the FLOW experience from a hypnotist’s point of view, we’ll look at some techniques for achieving FLOW on a more consistent basis.  In the mean time, here are some more links to Csikszentmihalyi’s books, interviews and other related links.

Mihaly Csikszentmihaly’s Books

Creativity : Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention

Flow : The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Finding Flow : The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life

The Evolving Self : A Psychology for the Third Millennium

Optimal Experience : Psychological Studies of Flow in Consciousness

The Art of Seeing : An Interpretation of the Aesthetic Encounter

Beyond Boredom and Anxiety: Experiencing Flow in Work and Play

Writing in Flow : Keys to Enhanced Creativity

Other Related Links

Reaching Flow to Optimize Work and Play

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199707/finding-flow?page=2

Go with the Flow – Wired Magazine 1996

Interview with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Planetary.org

About Having Hypnosis Sessions with Me

Over the years, several questions have come up repeatedly regarding having hypnosis sessions with me.  So, I thought, in this article, I would answer them in one group, for your convenience.  If you have a question that does not appear here, you can check the FAQ page of my website.  Or you can email or call me.

Is hypnosis covered by my insurance?

Generally speaking, no, hypnosis is not covered by insurance.  However, more and more companies are beginning to approve it under Wellness Benefits.  Three, in particular, that I have worked with are:  USAA, Methodist Hospital and Pioneer Flour Mills.  In some cases, it is only approved for weight loss and smoking.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why Stress isn’t covered FIRST.   After all, stress is the root of almost all the other problems.

If I’m buying a package of five or ten sessions from you, why can’t I pay the other half after half the sessions?

The whole point of a discount package is that you get a discount for paying in advance.  I charge $80 per hour regularly and $350 for five sessions, regardless of how many hours they take. (Weight loss and smoking take two hours initially.)  I started allowing people to pay half in session one and half in session two as an additional break for people who have a tough time paying all at once.  If I allow the payment in third or subsequent sessions, I am actually losing money.  Do the math.

I tried counseling (psychotherapy), but it didn’t work.  Will hypnosis help me?

I tell my clients to think of me as a cross between a computer reprogrammer and a coach.  Hypnosis is not counseling or psychotherapy.  It is based on an entirely different paradigm.  It works very well for regular everyday problems where the client wants to change the behavior or the emotional reaction to someone or some thing.  It is not for people who need:  to have the sessions paid for by insurance (see above), to be medicated, someone to talk to, to continually rehash their problems or who have a diagnosed mental condition such as schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, psychosis, or sociopathic tendencies, or who otherwise require medication.  Hypnosis works very well for pain management.  However, make sure you work with a hypnotist who is trained in pain management.  Hypnosis also works very well as an adjunct to other therapies, such as acupuncture, massage, reiki, and with the traditional medical therapies.  It is especially helpful in allowing a client a quick recovery after surgery.

“Hypnosis for Cheerleaders: How it Works”

Like I mentioned in the previous blog entry, I’ve had success over the past couple of years helping about 40 cheerleaders get over performance anxiety.  Basically, they develop a fear of doing back flips.  In some cases they have had a bad fall, in some cases it’s the fear of falling, that causes the phobia.  I liken it to the fear of cold calling that can build up over time with sales people in which they can’t pick up the telephone any more.

In any case, these girls, who were once fearless with their routines, suddenly become afraid to even try to perform.  In many cases, the phobia bleeds over into other areas of their lives.  They make even become reclusive.

I use the same techniques I use with other phobias… anchoring, which I’ve written about several times in this blog.  I have the cheerleader find a time in her life when she felt very confident and/or safe, a color she associates with those feelings and a word that she associate with confidence.  Then I have her go through all the aspects of her cheerleading routine, especially the back flips or back hand springs, while simultaneously anchoring the positive feelings.  I have her try to bring up the feelings of anxiety, but each time, in every step, we reinforce the anchors.

Unless the cheerleaders also suffer from anxiety in other areas of their life, they eliminate the cheerleading phobia in one to three sessions.  Like I tell all my potential clients, “Hypnosis is not psychotherapy.  It does not require years of talking about your life history.  It’s more akin to computer reprogramming.”  We don’t even need to know why the problem developed.  All we need to do is eliminate it.

If you know a cheerleader who is suffering from “fear of doing back flips,” have them give me a call.

“Hypnosis for Cheerleaders : Small Business Marketing Tip”

You know how sometimes you can look at something for so long that you don’t see it?  That would be ME today.

I’ve been teaching individuals, usually small business owners, marketing techniques for years.  You know:  how to build clientele on a shoe string, how to effectively use PR, no-cost advertising tips.  I always tell business owners to lead with their strengths.  Don’t try to be everything to every body.  You can’t afford the advertising. Be really good at something.  It’s easier to build a reputation at just one thing.  You become the “go-to” person for that topic.

In my case, it’s Working with Anxious People, and Helping People who want to Quit Smoking.  I do those types of sessions all the time with wonderful success.  Does it mean I don’t do any thing else?  Of course not.  Just means I have built a reputation in these two areas.

Well, low and behold, as I was busy growing my business, even in a down economy, unlike many hypnotists, my business is still there, even without spending money on advertising….I had a new Eureka moment.  Something I’ve done many times, with great success.  I just never stopped to realize I had developed a level of expertise in it until the most recent mom called me just this week.

I’m really good at helping cheerleaders get over their fears. I’ve done about 40 of these sessions, all with great results.  And the funny thing about hypnosis is this:  when you help someone in one area of their life, it tends to bleed over into other areas.

So, if you are a cheerleader, the parent of a cheerleader, or someone who knows a cheerleader who is struggling right now, especially with fear of doing back flips, give me a call at 210-735-6766 or email me.  And if you want to know how the session works, read the next post.

Adios!

“I Am” by Connor Hrivnak, age 11

This poem was written by Connor, age 11, for a school project.  I include it here as inspirational because, with kids like these in the world, I am inspired about our chances for the future.  If you know someone in need of inspiration, please feel free to forward this poem.  I’m sure Connor will be happy to have helped.

 

I am a crazy boy that loves hockey.

I wonder what happens to the world while I’m asleep.

I hear the wood crack in the forest as the trees wander about.

I see the world spinning at a fast pace it dances with the sun.

I want the world to be at peace for the last years of its life.

 I am a crazy boy that loves hockey.

 

I pretend to soar through the sky with an F-22 Raptor at my control.

I feel the skin of my horse as I fling through the forest.

I touch God’s hand as the world comes to an end.

I worry about all the animals in the world.

I cry when I see stray, abused, or dead animals in the world.

I am a crazy boy that loves hockey.

 

I understand the life will come to an end, but I am not afraid of it.

 I say that life is about fun, honesty, passion, courage, respect, hope and happiness.

 I dream of a world out in space like ours. I try to succeed with all my strength.

I hope the world will live a while longer.

I am a crazy boy that loves hockey.

Super-Mom Stress Syndrome and Hypnosis

Sheila (not her real name) left a job as a CPA to begin having children at the age of 35. Megan (an alias) was laid off from a stressful job in corporate America and started her own small business. Besides having major life transitions in their late thirties, what these women have in common is Super-Mom Stress Syndrome.

SMSS presents with the attitude “I can do everything,” “I have to keep all these balls in the air,” “No one can do it except me.” Sheila had lost the luster of her life. She didn’t want to DO anything with the family she was so busy taking care of, preferred to eat her dinner alone, sat and read books on family vacations, drank wine alone at night. Megan, on the other hand, was running like a rat in a maze, with a constant state of brain fog. The main difference is Sheila’s case had persisted longer and had now turned in to burn out.

Both of these women have an engrained attitude that they have to “do it all” and there is no “me time” left in the equation. Interestingly, neither came to me to work on this problem. Both instead wanted to work on weight loss.

In reality, weight loss is the symptom, not the problem. Massive stress causes the body to produce more adrenaline and cortisol. Cortisol, particular, will cause the body to hold fat around the mid-section. In order to release the excess weight, we have to work on the core issue causing the SMSS. The nice thing about hypnosis is: we don’t really have to know what the core issue is to let it go. We simply instruct the subconscious to do so.

One of the things I always like to do with these or similar cases is Time Line Therapy tm. I refer to Time Line as Emotional Vacuum Cleaning. The process allows us to clean out anger, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt, plus any additional stuck emotions. Then we can eliminate any stuck limiting beliefs like: I’m not good enough.

Another process I include in these types of sessions is deep, deep relaxation and installation of self-hypnosis signals. I generally give the person a trigger word of their choosing that they put on their “trigger color” sticky note and place in strategic spots in clear view. For example, an SMSS mom might have a purple sticky note with the word “relax” on it.

Finally, the SMSS moms are going to get direct suggestion for ways to incorporate more “me time” and homework to being do so by a certain date. I generally give these instructions at the outset and check up on them every week until the new behavior is in place. Hypnosis generally makes the installation of new behaviors much easier and faster than say, cognitive therapy (at least that’s the comments I get from my clients) because it is more like computer re-programming than counseling.

Even with hypnosis, SMSS is not a quick fix. SMSS moms have to be re-trained to put themselves back into the equation of their lives, literally. I usually include a healthy dose of guilt, with the admonition: If you disappear, who is going to take care of all these people.

Food as Inspiration: Kathy’s All-American Pancakes

You probably never expected to see a pancake recipe in an inspirational blog, but I find inspiration EVERYWHERE!  All modesty aside, I’d put my pancakes up against any pancake on Earth.  If Texas had a pancake cook-off instead of a chili cook-off, I’d be right up there in the big middle of it…grinnin’ like the Cheshire cat.

My basic philosophy of food, is that healthy food should be delicious, and my pancakes exemplify that doctrine.  They are scrumptiously loaded with just about every healthy ingredient you could think to put in a pancake.  Now, for those of you who aren’t sold on the “healthy-delicious” mantra, you can use regular white pancake flour as your base.  However, I promise, you will not lose any flavor points if you take the leap and use whole grain or sweet otato flour.

Is your mouth watering yet? Good.  Here goes…..(make a batch and then email me with your results.)

Pancakes for Three Hungry People at 4^th of July breakfast

1 cup whole grain or sweet potato flour (sub: ½ and ½ with regular pancake mix)

1 egg

¼ cup chopped walnuts or pecans

¼ cup chopped strawberries (RED)

¼ cup blueberries (BLUE)

¼ cup sliced bananas (WHITE)

tsp cinnamon

tbs. Flax seed ground

¼ cup Oatmeal – not instant

½ to 1 cup water for desired consistency

Blend all ingredients.  Then add water for desired consistency.  Fry in butter in frying pan.  Top cooked pancakes with your favorite syrup, butter or whipped cream. Garnish with fruit and nuts for eye appeal.

From the basic recipe I’ve given you, come up with your favorite alternates.  I sometimes use cherries or apples.  But I think peaches would be great, too.  Blackberries and raspberries, too.  Sweet potato flour is awesome!  Let your own muse inspire you.

p.s.– Stay tuned for more inspirational recipes.