Here’s a link to my archived Blog Radio show with Michelle Vasquez, host:  How to Use Hypnosis to Attract the Love of Your Life.   I talk about how hypnosis works in general, but specifically how you can use it to: let go of shyness around the opposite sex, how to let go of an addiction to a toxic relationship, how to visualize the relationship you want and, thus, attract it to you.  I also talk about hypnosis for phobias.  I use stories from real-life cases.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/truelovecoach/2009/12/04/using-hypnosis-to-attract-the-love-of-your-life

The following is an abbreviated version of one of my hypnosis scripts.  Make a recording of it for yourself and practice using it to go into flow.  Feel free to change some of the wording if it doesn’t feel right to you.  Once you’ve done this session for a few weeks, try an actual walk in the forest and see what happens.

To begin this process, …look up at a 30 degree angle, … to a spot above you on the ceiling.  Maintain your focus on that spot… Just keep looking at that spot… Your eyes will gradually get heavier… and heavier… and will close …all by themselves… without you having to do anything about it…  Don’t try to keep them open. .. But don’t try to force them closed either… Just relax… and continue to gaze at that spot on the ceiling… and your eyes will close all by themselves. …heavier, heavier, and heavier…just letting them relax as you go deeper into peace and calm…relaxing, relaxing,  that’s right…..

And, as your eyes close, allow them to stay closed…as you begin to breathe deeply … and peacefully… totally unconcerned about what happens next… Just happy to be in this wonderful, safe, tranquil place…

Feel yourself drifting…down… and floating into a peaceful, euphoric place… a safe place inside yourself.  That’s right– find your own comfort zone, your own safe place, and move freely into it… Relax into that safe place inside yourself, down into the core of your being, into perfect stillness.

Tune in to your body, noticing everything that is going on inside it.  Tell your body it can relax NOW.  And, …as your body relaxes, let your mind relax as well…

Now imagine you are walking through a beautiful forest, near a stream of fresh clear water, on a perfect summer day.

There is a warm, gentle breeze, and the air is fresh and clean…  You feel very relaxed and calm, perhaps walking barefoot on the fresh grass and smelling the grass and trees, maybe even smelling the warm breeze…

The sound of the peaceful stream is very relaxing… You continue to feel more and more relaxed and secure… Just listening to the peaceful sounds of nature… and it keeps becoming less important for you to consciously listen to my voice, because your inner mind is hearing and receiving everything I say…

In your mind, you are enjoying the beauty of nature.  Notice the sunlight shining through the trees.  Listen to the gentle flow of water… to the birds singing cheerfully…

As you continue to walk, you begin to notice all the creatures of the forest around you… You may see fish in the stream or birds in the trees or in the nearby meadow… You may also see furry creatures or reptiles and amphibians.

You may even notice insects or plants.  All these living things are symbols for you to help you on your journey.  If you allow it, you can encounter nature guides from the plant, animal and even from the mineral kingdoms today that will help you to achieve flow in your life.   Begin now to notice the particular ones who have come to be on this trip with you.

Is there anything unusual about them?  their coloring?  their posture?  Where are they when you notice them and what are they doing?  Are they alone or with others?

Some of these minerals, plants, insects or animals may have special messages for you, information to help you improve your business decision-making ability. You may hear them speak actual words or telepathically…or they may give you an object or something symbolic…they may even have a specific expression on their face… that gives you a clue.  Pay attention to everything in your surroundings.  Everything can be a message to you when you learn to pay attention.  Notice everything about these creatures now and the message or gift that they have for you…

Take this peaceful, relaxing time, now to walk up to the minerals, animals, plants or insects that have messages or gifts for you.  Take the time now to hear the messages that are important for you one at a time.

LONG PAUSE…

Now …when you are finished… thank your new friend or friends, and send them on their way… and know that you will be able to recall this experience easily and journal about it when this session concludes, if you’d like.  Also know that any of these guides are here to help you any time you need answers.  And, you can always talk to them in through your subconscious.

And Continue your pleasant walk in this magical forest…As you are continuing to walk, enjoying your solitude, you become more and more aware of everything around you.  It’s as if all your senses are suddenly magnified and intermingled.  You can hear the color in the trees, see the sounds of the wind and feel the smells all around you.   You notice details down to the tiniest insects scurrying underfoot and as large as the entire skyline.  In fact there seems to be a type of pattern developing, just like a holograph, between the tiny details and the biggest pictures around you.  These patterns form messages that help you to understand everything in the Universe more clearly.  And you suddenly realize that you are beginning to read these holographic patterns just as easily as you can read a book or a road map.

Also, as you continue to walk, you become more aware of a concept that you already knew, and that is, that everything in the Universe is made up of energy.  But you don’t just believe that the concept is true now, you KNOW it, you feel it, you see it taking place all around you.  As you continue walking you feel the energy coming from different objects, both animate and inanimate, rocks, plants, the road under your feet, the wind in your hair, the sunshine you feel, all are energy.  And all this energy has it’s own pattern, it’s own code, and you’re beginning to recognize how to speak the language of each now… in fact it’s becoming effortless for you.

Just allow yourself a few quite moments, now, in this place, settle in to a place deep inside yourself and become aware of the energy surrounding you.  Notice yourself becoming more peaceful and calm… more at ease… with every breath you exhale… and as you continue breathing this way… in through your heart… and out through your crown.

When you are ready to come back, count yourself up from one to ten and come back to waking awareness, feeling wonderful.

Other resources for flow exercises

ELT Newsletter, Maite Galan & Tom Maguire http://www.eltnewsletter.com/back/November2000/art382000.htm

The Franklin Institute, Resources for Science Learning

http://www.fi.edu/learn/brain/exercise.html

Creativity and Flow Psychology

http://talentdevelop.com/articles/Page8.html

Here’s the review I wrote for Las Palmas Mexican Restaurant for menupix.com.

I love Las Palmas! The service is good to excellent depending on who you get. The ambience is wonderful, clean, bright, nice decor, not too crowded. But the flour tortillas MELT IN YOUR MOUTH. I go for breakfast tacos. I can highly recommend the chorizo con papas con avocate flour tacos. Oh, and the coffee is good too, which is a rarity in my opinion, in a Mexican Restaurant. Most of them use some cheap brand that tastes bitter. Not Las Palmas.

Oh, and by the way, as is the case with most Southside Restaurants, the menu is extremely affordable.  Breakfast for me and Uncle Ernie is normally under $9.00.

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably know I’m a Southsider.  I live in the AUTHENTIC SAN ANTONIO.  If you are visiting here, be sure you come to the southside (that includes the area from downtown all the way to the southernmost mission, Espada.  (See map.  http://www.classbrain.com/artmonument/publish/san_antonio_missions_nhp_park_map.shtml)

And, if you want to eat REAL San Antonio Mexican Food, be sure to eat it on the Southside.  Here are two of my favorites.  Neither is a tourist trap.  Both have great food and service and you will not even come close to spending a fortune.

If you show up on a Saturday night, and sit on the patio, you will probably see Uncle Ernie and I at El Mirador.

http://elmiradorsatx.com/ Chris always waits on us.  But, no matter who waits on you, the service is excellent.  We have never had a bad meal or bad service or even mediocre food or service.  Last week, my good friends, Kurt and Marlina, were visiting from Santa Rosa, CA.  It was Kurt’s birthday.  He told, Lisa, the manager, that the Fish Tacos were the best he’d ever had.  This place feels like family.  If you become a regular, like we are, they visit with you.  IF the weather is bearable, be sure to sit on the veranda.  It’s magical.

My choices from the menu:  Steak ala Diana, Numero Dos, or my absolute favorite, The Empanada.  If they are making them that night, ask for Spinach Enchiladas.  They are not listed on the menu, but they are fabulous.  Tell them I sent you!

PS– Stay tuned for our newest find.

If you haven’t read the article about Flow that I wrote a couple of weeks ago, go back and read it first.  If you have, let’s get started.

Remember, FLOW is about being present in the Moment.  The concept of being here now is deceptively complex and amazingly simple all at the same time.  But, then again, so is anything when you’re an expert at it, or when you’re watching an expert do it.

Always, the secret is FOCUS.  It’s the biggest quality that’s missing in modern society, in my opinion.  People who spend all their time texting, I believe, do so as an attempt to focus.  Otherwise, they can’t seem to stay focused on anything.  Their lives are a mad whirl of TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

Being in flow requires that you put mental blinders on.  But, generally speaking, people get into flow doing things that they are so passionate about that they don’t HAVE to try to focus on them.

However, I’ve made a remarkable discovery over the past 30 years of practicing being in the flow:  The more you flow with things that you LOVE doing, the more you learn how to flow doing anything in life.  Case in point:  I DO NOT LOVE balancing my check book.  I used to be really good at it years ago.  And, I know exactly when things went sour.  I had recently moved for my job to another state.  I was in-between banks…going back and forth between the two.  Things got screwed up.  It was a hassle to straighten them out.  Ever since then, balancing my check book has been a hassle.  I lost confidence in my ability to do it well.

I LOVE, on the other hand, writing.  I could write for days or months without stopping.  I am totally unaware of time when I write.  I am in the flow.

When I have to balance my checkbook, I simply focus on putting myself in that state of mind that I’m in when I write.  Once I know I’m there.  I balance my checkbook.  And, I do not allow any outside distractions while I’m doing it.  I have no clue how people watch TV, talk on the phone and listen to the radio while they are playing a computer game or doing homework or balancing their checkbook.

So here is my challenge to you.  What is it that you truly love to do?  Only pick one thing.  Close your eyes and think about the last time you did whatever it was.  What are you aware of as you are doing it?  What do you smell?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  What do you feel?  What thoughts are going through your mind?  Are you aware of having any thoughts while you do that thing?  Is it automatic?  Do you have to think about doing it?

Now think of a color to go with how you feel when you are doing that loved thing.  Now think of a word to describe how doing that thing makes you feel.

Give yourself your color and word signals (knows as anchors) before trying to do something that doesn’t flow as well for you, maybe cleaning your room, or raking leaves.

I promise, the more you learn to be in flow, the easier it is to do, no matter what you are doing.

Finally, the night before jury duty, I decided to let  go of whining and complaining about the impending experience and just be my normal “go with the flow”  self.  Shocking as this confession may sound to some of you: After moving back to Texas in 1998, I had avoided jury duty for 11 years by simply NOT registering to vote.  There wasn’t anyone I cared about seeing get elected, and being an entrepreneur, I definitely could NOT afford the time away from the office.

Once Obama got elected, I was so thrilled to have someone I felt I could believe in, that I decided I’d better “bite the bullet” and register to vote for 2012 (just in case the world DIDN’T come to an end) and I needed to help re-elect Obama.

Anyway… back to my story…

The Monday night before my new adventure into Bexar County jurisprudence, I was sitting at the front yard patio table enjoying the last rays of sunshine with Uncle Ernie.  My octogenarian next-door-neighbor and playmate turned to me and said, “So have you got your face fixed for jury duty yet?” (Translation:  Had I adjusted my attitude sufficiently?)

“Yes,” I replied determinedly.  ”I decided to just make the most of it.”

“Goooooooooood,” he drawled and gave me one of his infamous Evil Chesire cat grins.

The next morning, I awoke early, thanks to the demise of Daylight Savings time.  I got ready quickly and made it to the bus stop early.

One of the newest features of the revised Bexar County Jury Duty  process is:  Your jury summons comes with a free round-trip bus ticket.  Since I live right on the 34/42 bus routes, I have a quick twelve-minute trip to La Villita, the main downtown transfer point.

The third “happy occurrence” was the early morning walk along the San Antonio River, between Villita and Dolorosa.  Those of you who read my blog regularly know I walk along the River all the time with Uncle Ernie, just not this part, the “touristy” part, as we locals refer to it.

We walk the uninhabited paths south of downtown, by Blue Star Art Complex and the HEB headquarters at the Arsenal.  We’re used to quiet walks, beautiful aquatic scenery and an abundance of water fowl.

Lo and behold!  This downtown walk was tranquility to the nth degree.  The only affront to my serene sensibilities was one poor fool on a cell phone, too wrapped up in “business” to live.

The walkway was spotless, unlike the southern stretches of the River.  The colors of the flowers outside the hotels were breath-taking.  A lone grebe gazed forlornly from a cypress tree, not four feet away from me, as if to say, “What are you doing up so early?”

What a contrast this scenario was from the time back in 1998 when I brought my friend, Marilyn, to see the River for the first time.  It was a sweltering August day, wall-to-wall people swarmed the sidewalks, bumping into each other, shoving, sweating.  It was total pandemonium.

Marilyn swore she’d never come back to this, the second most popular tourist attraction IN THE WORLD.  Couldn’t say I blamed her.

Anyway… back to my jury duty story…

I arrived at the Justice Center and was directed to the basement by one of San Antonio’s finest.  She could tell I was confused.  The last time I served on a jury had to be in the 1980’s, and that was in North or South Carolina.  Can’t remember which.

Right away I was impressed with how smoothly everything ran… definitely a first for me in dealing with the City.   Even though the lines were long, they moved rapidly.  A personable, yet confident woman named Melly introduced our judge, the Honorable Soloman Casseb, III.  He quickly corrected her.

“Call me Sol.  The only Judge Solomon Casseb was my father, who passed away two weeks ago at the age of 94.”

He proceeded to enthrall us with tales from his father’s illustrious career and that of other notable justices from Texas history, like Judge Reeves, who served his entire career from a wheelchair.  His 10-minute tribute to his dad was met with a round of applause.

Wow!  This going-with-the-flow stuff really works!”  I smiled inwardly.  Who would’ve expected a free motivational talk as an intro to jury duty?

Judge Casseb proceeded to explain the finer points of jury duty: what an honor it is, how important a service we are performing, how much he appreciated us.  ( I was feeling more and more grateful by the minute.)

Finally he explained who was NOT allowed to serve and who had the right to an exemption.  After that rousing welcome and pep talk, I was shocked when anyone got in line to be excused.

So now I’m waiting in this comfortable chair… at this cozy table, having not been selected for either of the first two jury panels.

But the cappuchino from the cafeteria across the hall was good.  And, I did see fresh fruit over there, too, so I know it’s not all snack food.

Who knows what the rest of the day will bring? I’m just going with the flow.

Almost 20 years ago, a Hungarian psychology professor, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, published his ground-breaking work, ‘Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.’  I’ve been a fan of Csikszentmihalyi, (“chick-send-me-high-ee”) ever since that time.

According to “flow” theory:   people are most happy when they are in a state of flow— a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation. The idea of flow is identical to the feeling of being in the zone or in the groove. The flow state is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. This is a feeling about 85% of the population reports having had at times, characterized by a feeling of great absorption, engagement, fulfillment, and skill—and during which concerns, like time, food, and ego-self, are typically ignored.

Other characteristics of the flow experience are:

1.   Complete involvement, concentration in whatever one is involved in.

2.   A sense of ectasy- that idea of detachment, being outside everyday reality

3.  Great inner clarity- a clear sense of what needs to be done and how things are progressing.

4.  A certainty/ inner knowing that the activity can be accomplished, neither bored nor anxious

5.  A sense of serenity- no self consciousness, a feeling of oneness with life

6.  Timelessness—focus on the now, time distortion, no awareness of the passage of time

7.  Intrinsic motivation—whatever produces “flow” becomes its own reward.

The idea is important to me for two primary reasons:  (1) I recognized immediately, upon reading the book, that  ”flow”  was the reason  I was basically a happy person, when so many people around me, especially those with more money, a more exciting career, a better love life, or whatever, were not.  (2) Once I became a professional hypnotist, with a specialty in anxiety, I focused on the theory as a means to help anxious clients.  I decided, since I already knew what flow was supposed to look like, having experienced it myself for years, I could teach others how to do it.

Referring to the list of points above, I can say, with absolute authority, that every single point listed can be accomplished using hypnosis.  Whether a client comes to reduce anxiety, stop smoking, lose weight, improve a skill, what makes hypnosis work, in my opinion, is that, in the trance state, the critical faculty is by-passed.  The focus shifts away from self-consciousness and towards a type of  “extra-consciousness”  in which anything that is suggested becomes not only possible, but highly likely.

When a skilled hypnotist uses an ego-strengthener, the client is told:  “Everything that I tell you, every suggestion I give you, is becoming deeply implanted in your subconscious mind and beginning to work for you perfectly.”  Any suggestions that follow the ego-strengthener will IN FACT become deeply implanted.

In the next segment on this series about the FLOW experience from a hypnotist’s point of view, we’ll look at some techniques for achieving FLOW on a more consistent basis.  In the mean time, here are some more links to Csikszentmihalyi’s books, interviews and other related links.

Mihaly Csikszentmihaly’s Books

Creativity : Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention

Flow : The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Finding Flow : The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life

The Evolving Self : A Psychology for the Third Millennium

Optimal Experience : Psychological Studies of Flow in Consciousness

The Art of Seeing : An Interpretation of the Aesthetic Encounter

Beyond Boredom and Anxiety: Experiencing Flow in Work and Play

Writing in Flow : Keys to Enhanced Creativity

Other Related Links

Reaching Flow to Optimize Work and Play

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199707/finding-flow?page=2

Go with the Flow – Wired Magazine 1996

Interview with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Planetary.org

Over the years, several questions have come up repeatedly regarding having hypnosis sessions with me.  So, I thought, in this article, I would answer them in one group, for your convenience.  If you have a question that does not appear here, you can check the FAQ page of my website.  Or you can email or call me.

Is hypnosis covered by my insurance?

Generally speaking, no, hypnosis is not covered by insurance.  However, more and more companies are beginning to approve it under Wellness Benefits.  Three, in particular, that I have worked with are:  USAA, Methodist Hospital and Pioneer Flour Mills.  In some cases, it is only approved for weight loss and smoking.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why Stress isn’t covered FIRST.   After all, stress is the root of almost all the other problems.

If I’m buying a package of five or ten sessions from you, why can’t I pay the other half after half the sessions?

The whole point of a discount package is that you get a discount for paying in advance.  I charge $80 per hour regularly and $350 for five sessions, regardless of how many hours they take. (Weight loss and smoking take two hours initially.)  I started allowing people to pay half in session one and half in session two as an additional break for people who have a tough time paying all at once.  If I allow the payment in third or subsequent sessions, I am actually losing money.  Do the math.

I tried counseling (psychotherapy), but it didn’t work.  Will hypnosis help me?

I tell my clients to think of me as a cross between a computer reprogrammer and a coach.  Hypnosis is not counseling or psychotherapy.  It is based on an entirely different paradigm.  It works very well for regular everyday problems where the client wants to change the behavior or the emotional reaction to someone or some thing.  It is not for people who need:  to have the sessions paid for by insurance (see above), to be medicated, someone to talk to, to continually rehash their problems or who have a diagnosed mental condition such as schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, psychosis, or sociopathic tendencies, or who otherwise require medication.  Hypnosis works very well for pain management.  However, make sure you work with a hypnotist who is trained in pain management.  Hypnosis also works very well as an adjunct to other therapies, such as acupuncture, massage, reiki, and with the traditional medical therapies.  It is especially helpful in allowing a client a quick recovery after surgery.

Like I mentioned in the previous blog entry, I’ve had success over the past couple of years helping about 40 cheerleaders get over performance anxiety.  Basically, they develop a fear of doing back flips.  In some cases they have had a bad fall, in some cases it’s the fear of falling, that causes the phobia.  I liken it to the fear of cold calling that can build up over time with sales people in which they can’t pick up the telephone any more.

In any case, these girls, who were once fearless with their routines, suddenly become afraid to even try to perform.  In many cases, the phobia bleeds over into other areas of their lives.  They make even become reclusive.

I use the same techniques I use with other phobias… anchoring, which I’ve written about several times in this blog.  I have the cheerleader find a time in her life when she felt very confident and/or safe, a color she associates with those feelings and a word that she associate with confidence.  Then I have her go through all the aspects of her cheerleading routine, especially the back flips or back hand springs, while simultaneously anchoring the positive feelings.  I have her try to bring up the feelings of anxiety, but each time, in every step, we reinforce the anchors.

Unless the cheerleaders also suffer from anxiety in other areas of their life, they eliminate the cheerleading phobia in one to three sessions.  Like I tell all my potential clients, “Hypnosis is not psychotherapy.  It does not require years of talking about your life history.  It’s more akin to computer reprogramming.”  We don’t even need to know why the problem developed.  All we need to do is eliminate it.

If you know a cheerleader who is suffering from “fear of doing back flips,” have them give me a call.

You know how sometimes you can look at something for so long that you don’t see it?  That would be ME today.

I’ve been teaching individuals, usually small business owners, marketing techniques for years.  You know:  how to build clientele on a shoe string, how to effectively use PR, no-cost advertising tips.  I always tell business owners to lead with their strengths.  Don’t try to be everything to every body.  You can’t afford the advertising. Be really good at something.  It’s easier to build a reputation at just one thing.  You become the “go-to” person for that topic.

In my case, it’s Working with Anxious People, and Helping People who want to Quit Smoking.  I do those types of sessions all the time with wonderful success.  Does it mean I don’t do any thing else?  Of course not.  Just means I have built a reputation in these two areas.

Well, low and behold, as I was busy growing my business, even in a down economy, unlike many hypnotists, my business is still there, even without spending money on advertising….I had a new Eureka moment.  Something I’ve done many times, with great success.  I just never stopped to realize I had developed a level of expertise in it until the most recent mom called me just this week.

I’m really good at helping cheerleaders get over their fears. I’ve done about 40 of these sessions, all with great results.  And the funny thing about hypnosis is this:  when you help someone in one area of their life, it tends to bleed over into other areas.

So, if you are a cheerleader, the parent of a cheerleader, or someone who knows a cheerleader who is struggling right now, especially with fear of doing back flips, give me a call at 210-735-6766 or email me.  And if you want to know how the session works, read the next post.

Adios!